Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Optimism sucks.

Kinda looks like a glass half-full, doesn't it? Or would it be a glass half-empty?

But what it really is, is a great ball of hail that fell from the sky on Monday.

As you can see, my yard is littered with these ice balls, which came with a huge bout of severe weather that brought tornadoes, rain, hail and more hail.

We missed the bulk of the damage, the tornadoes hit but not right where I live. My cars were both in the garage, but my good friend was not so lucky and she lost the windshield and back window in her car, as did most of the folks on my street with cars parked outside. The kids were panicky, they love the storm shelter but not when we have to get into it for a legitimate storm (this is the 2nd time in many years), and it always leaves me feeling a bit overwhelmed also at the possibility of the storms to come.

So yeah, I'm thankful that it wasn't worse. But still, it kind of sucked. I did not have water service (along with half of the city due to the tornado hitting the pumping station at our water source). There are holes in my roof and I spent the majority of the day yesterday dealing with getting that taken care of. I had to boil water (to warm it up) so I could take a bath. And I hate baths.

And through all of this, I felt bad for being pissy about it. People lost their homes, their cars, their lives. All I lost was a bit of sleep, a few hours on the phone and water pressure. How can I feel bad about that when it could be so much worse?

You know, sometimes it's not so bad but still, I need to be able to embrace my own crap. To ptich a fit, cry, yell, scream, whatever I feel is the appropriate response ... but I always find myself thinking: well, it could be worse and I'm thankful that it's not. Yes, we lost water but they lost their house and I'm thankful for that. But I have no water. And I like the basic comforts of life. I'm not good at roughing it.

It's so much easier just to wallow in place, to throw a pity party and fall apart for a minute ... then pick up and carry on. It's a lot of pressure to always think of the other person and how they may be affected. I have trouble putting it to words without sounding whiny, and how annoying is that.

So indulge me when I complain about how crappy I have it, but rest easy in the knowledge that I'm optimistic on the inside.


  1. Hi Mari - thanks for the follow on twitter. This is to let you know that someone reads your blog. In Ohio, we had a terrible storm last week where it sounded like baseballs hitting our home. Ahhh, spring, isn't it fun?

  2. I agree. Sometimes it's better to get it out and let it go rather than drag it around all festering and yucky. I hope the rest of your tornado season is much better.