Wednesday, September 22, 2010

No words.

It's "Wordless Wednesday" so it's quite fitting that I can't find the words.
I've been sitting here for half an hour trying to name my thoughts and feelings, and the words aren't coming.
I typed up about 10 quick sentences and clicked the wrong thing and lost them.
The words don't want to come.

I fell like an exposed nerve, all raw edges and pain. I'm dealing with my dad's cancer, something I cannot control, and it drives me nuts.

For about 5 years my dad has battled lung cancer. He had surgery to remove 1/3 of his lung where the cancer lived then had chemo & radiation and was cancer-free for many years ... until he wasn't. So now the cancer is back. And that's the thing about cancer, it doesn't like it when you try to get rid of it, and when you kick it out, it comes back stronger and more aggressively. And he can't tolerate all of the treatment because the other treatments took too much of a toll on his body.

Now it's time to wrap my brain around the fact that my dad is not long for this earth. Like most people, I've had my share of sadness and pain, stood by my share of tragedy. I've lost loved ones to illness and accident and I've grieved the loss of them. But this is my dad; this is the strongest person I know. This is the man who is responsible for the stubbornness in my backbone. I don't want this for him.

Please, please if you are reading this say a prayer of comfort; take care of yourself and your loved ones.


  1. Mari,

    I am so sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.



  2. Oh gosh, I am so sorry. Keeping you and your dad, and the rest of the family, in my thoughts. xoxo

  3. ((HUGS)) xo Christy

  4. Kristina5:19 PM

    Love to you and your family, girl. Let me know if you need anything.

  5. Thank you all for your kind words! Keeping it togehter, but it's been a tough few days for sure.

  6. I have you and your family in my prayers Mari, I wish I was cose enough to give you a hug.