Monday, October 31, 2011

72 Days.

Did you hear the stunning news? Kim Kardashian and husband Kris Humphries are getting a divorce.
The pair married 72 days ago, in a ceremony that cost the family an estimated $500K-$10 million, depending on whose estimate you believe (if any). But, don't feel bad; the wedding had an $18 million payday due to licensing, exclusive photo deals, television specials and comped items (including the $20K+ dress, a $10K+ wedding cake -- that's expensive buttercream! and $400K+ in champagne).

By contrast, I am entering my 20th year of marriage. Similar to Kim and Kris, we had a whirlwind courtship and were married a mere 160 days (give or take) after our first meeting. But the similarities end there. And let's be clear; being known for a bit of excess junk in the trunk is the only other thing that I could every say I've had in common with Kim Kardashian).

After rougly 7,300 days of marriage, I've learned a few things. I've learned that marriage is HARD WORK. Let me repeat that: IT'S HARD WORK. It's not easy. It's 2 completely different people coming together trying to make one life work. And sometimes it's fun. But mostly? It's hard work. There are rough patches and fights and hugs and love and pain and joy and fear and celebrations. It's messy. AND IT'S HARD WORK.

It's not something to take on lightly and then throw it away. It's irresponsible to commit a sum of money that would lift an entire country out of poverty so you have a pretty day that's all about you and how awesome you are.

Nothing against Kim Kardashian. I don't know her. I don't judge her. I just don't get this situation. And this is no disrespect for anyone who is in a marriage that truly doesn't work. But you have to try. Or you have to not get married in the first place. Everyone has their own situation, their own story. But c'mon people; you have to agree that this one? A tiny bit absurd.

By contrast to the aforementioned lavish nuptials, my 20-year marriage began on the foundation of a ceremony that cost us more than $19 dollars! Literally TENS OF DOLLARS! We paid the $20 for the Justice of the Peace. I wore a white party dress purchased from Sears (yes, Sears. Ironically, where the Kardashians have a fashion line) for about $29. Oh, and 3 1/2" white heels (it was the early 90s). Tony wore my grandfather's tie and gray shoes with his black pants because, aside from his uniform, it was the only suitable outfit he had.

We had 2 witnesses (required by law) who came along with us. My flowers were a dozen roses, possibly bought from one of those roadside guys who sell flowers. Afterwards, we went to my squadron picnic where we toasted with domestic beer. Then we headed to the Couryard Marriot for our "honeymoon." Our wedding night dinner? Outback Steakhouse.

So no, I had no sponsors at my marriage; but I'm accepting them now. I'll glady take Apple, as I type this up on a Mac Book; Mini Cooper because I want a new car; Hanes because I need to buy underwear but keep forgetting to go to the store; Coach because I'd like a new purse; Tag Heuer so Tony can get a new watch; Nintendo because the kids really want a new 3DS; and Le Creuset because a kitchen just isn't a kitchen without some nice coated cast-iron cookware. Oh, and also Starbucks Coffee Valet because there should be such a thing that delivers my coffee to me every morning.


  1. Love this post.

    We're coming up on 25 years (!!!) in December, and our marriage started almost identically to yours, except I didn't wear a dress and we ate at McDonalds for lunch. :)

    The news about Kim K was not surprising to me, but still horrifying when I thought about all of the "wasted" money that could have been put to good use elsewhere. Gah.

  2. I just wish these so called celebs weren't allowed to get married in the first place. They "give love a bad name".

  3. First - thanks to Kat for the earworm. :) Second - TINY bit absurd?!? More like a whole bunch of bat-sh*t absurd. I believe the cost of her ring alone would have fed starving children in Africa for several months. Yow.

  4. Yeah, tiny bit absurd = huge giant understatement!