Tuesday, September 25, 2012

That's what she said.

A post about elephants.
Took the kids to the zoo on a lovely, non-hot Sunday afternoon. We rode a very slow boat (we were passed by a butterfly and spent more time trying to tie onto the dock than we did on the short trip across the lagoon) and watched the elephant behavior demonstration where I was equal parts enthralled and disturbed. After all, I've seen Water for Elephants. The trainers did make it very clear that the exercises were not only for our amusement; they were actual exercises that the elephants used to stay in shape. Of course, they wouldn't need those exercises if they were still left to roam free in India. And then a strange remix of Born Free and Circle of Life played in my head for the rest of the time we sat and watched.

OMG cuteness! A baby elephant on a table!
While we were treated to elephantine antics (Mama and baby! Adorbs! <-- can we make this happen? Like "fetch" in Mean Girls? I think we can!) we were told that the zoo's other female was hanging out in the "mating yard" with Rex, the recently-acquired male, in hopes that they would be producing another baby elephant. Cheers went up in the crowd.

Oh yes she did ... a giant elephant, tip-toeing across the logs.

After the show, we departed the elephant arena and strolled through the elephant exhibit. And what do I see? The mating yard. For it was not in a quiet, secluded area, but rather in a large yard front and center of the exhibit, where all could witness the glory of their awkward new relationship.

And, not for nothing, but have you seen how large elephants are? I'm just saying, when you see a horny elephant? You kind of know he's horny. Leaves very little to the imagination except for wondering how in the hell you are going to explain that to the kids.

As we walked slowly (so as better to appreciate the shade and breezes), the elephants crept toward one another. She kept turning her back on him ... and he kept advancing. And it was starting to get a little too Discovery Channel / club on a Saturday night up in here for me!

First of all, we've not yet had that particular talk. My 8yo said: "If they wrap their trunks together, it means they're mating." Yeah ... no. It's not time for that talk yet. So we started to hustle out of the area and pretty soon every thought I had was an elephant-size double entendre. lol.

"Hey baby; come here often?"
Have you ever tried to un "that's what she said" a moment? It can't be done. So in honor of the elephants and their potential babymaking, I shall steer clear of the elephant exhibit for a while. And I dedicate this song to Rex & Chandra. Go get it, crazy elephants:

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