Wednesday, August 19, 2015

2015 Reboot

Way back at the beginning of the year, I made a commitment to my "word of the year."

Let's face it—nobody likes to make big, sweeping commitments to positivity like a blogger, amirite?

My word of the year for 2015? AWARENESS.

But, I don't know if I made the right choice. I think it's time for a reboot.

I'm starting to realize that I actually have 2 words at the forefront of my head this year: STASIS and INERTIA; Stasis referring to "a state or condition in which there is no action or progress" and Inertia as in "disinclination to move or act."

Those are actually pretty much the same thing so I guess my other word this year is REDUNDANT.

Also applicable? EASILY DISTRACTED.

[Note: it was at this point that I paused to watch a marathon of episodes of House Hunters in Hawaii and also created a few new sets of outfits on Polyvore.]

When 2015 kicked off, I had the best of intentions focusing on awareness this year, but something happened on the way to self-fulfillment. Not sure if I can put my finger on one specific thing, but it was more like the culmination of events.

We endured a lot of change. Bought a house. My husband changed jobs. My son was in the middle of his first year of middle school and still really disorganized so I've been trying to help him manage that without micromanaging it. My daughter became a fully vetted tween, complete with emotional mood swings and extra attitude. We got a puppy! I applied for and was rejected or ignored by approximately 50 separate employment opportunities.

The rejections were brutal; the being ignored was even worse.

But, these are just excuses... the things I use to justify my current state of inertia. Excuses are so much easier to make than commitments, right?

So I did what people do when they're stuck in a rut, I joined a cult challenge group on Facebook, part of which involves reading the book You Are a Badass. It's a great book in the spirit of self-help and self-awareness titles, and I'm trying to keep my motivation up when I just kind of want to fall over like the emotion of Sadness from the movie Inside Out

I relate to Sadness as played by Phyllis Smith. During a conversation with a friend about the emotions of the movie, she saw me as more of a Disgust as played by Mindy Kaling which I can get on board with because she's my spirit animal. I recently finished her first book and am excitedly awaiting her next one.

As I've been sitting in my state of inertia, alternating between Sadness and Disgust, I've been spending a lot of time consuming information. Yes, also more food and wine than I probably should, but here I mean books, movies and music. I'm going to think of it as a "feathering my nest" time—some of which includes "feathering my ass."

What? At least I'm accepting my place in my own disinclination to act. I mean, I own my shit and try not to filter my reality into some picture-perfect, staged clip.

So maybe I'm a bit more aware than I give myself credit for. 

1 comment:

  1. The way I see it, you've been saved from 50 mistakes and the right thing is out there and will find you very soon.