Friday, November 13, 2015

Embracing Grace, part 2

Dressed up like a grown
up because I thought
I had adulting figured out.
When you give the universe a challenge, sometimes the universe will call you on it.

So, yesterday I wrote this lovely post about grace, about giving myself grace, about forgiveness and kindness. Then I bantered on social media about wearing a scarf or not wearing a scarf while I also got my daughter off to school, updated email, finished a project, wrote a grocery list and updated my calendar.

And then, I was running around the house juggling all the things and trying to get the dog out for a pee before I had to leave for a meeting. So of course, when I went outside to call the dog in and shut the door behind me, I locked it. And my phone, which is usually always, ALWAYS on my person because I'm always, ALWAYS online was on the kitchen table.

[this is where I spewed all the swearwords]

The house was locked up, tight as a drum. And of course, the back gate was padlocked from the outside. I dragged a chair over to the fence and debated for a good few minutes about climbing over the fence but fear of breaking a hip prevented me from following through. Plus, once I went over there was no going back. So I dismantled the gate handle, cutting my finger but I'll take that over a broken hip. Tracked down a neighbor with a phone and finally got through to my husband to come home and rescue me.

I don't like having to be rescued.

I don't like not being effective and professional when I need to be effective and professional, and I don't like sitting still when there are things to be done.

I had no choice but to just be... still. I read the paper. I played with the dog and enjoyed the beautiful weather. I thought about how stupid I felt, how I hate making mistakes. I thought about how ironic it was that I blogged about grace earlier and now the universe was forcing me to prove it and then I thought about Alanis Morrisette and "Ironic" and then I remembered this video I saw earlier this week where the lyrics were updated for the times because this is how my brain works.

Then I cried a little bit. I beat myself up a little bit for making this mistake. I lamented the fact that I didn't have the internet, I didn't even have a paper and pencil. And remembered I knew a little origami and the Macy's ad was square and started folding. It took me a good while but I had nothing but time.

I stopped myself from having too big a pity party at this first world problem. I mean, the dog was with me and not in the house tearing it apart. The stove wasn't on. The weather was beautiful. I was dressed and not in my pajamas. There was much to be thankful for in this first world problem. I mean it's not like I was stuck in a crevasse in a rock face or in danger of dying from exposure. I was just locked out of the house for a bit.

And then after about two hours locked out, my husband arrived to let me in the house. He ran back to work and texted me that he loved me and when I lamented how much of an idiot I was, he made a Pulp Fiction reference because he knows the way to my heart (the Wolf was sent directly, after all).

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone needs to give themselves grace. And I learned this lesson in a real way yesterday.


I can give you grace—Amanda Farris, the designer of the "Embracing Grace" shirt is offering a giveaway to one of my blog readers, just leave a comment about giving yourself some grace on this post and I'll choose a winner on Monday. Please note that only sizes S-M-L are available, but the shirts are super comfy and run a little big.

And if you don't win, you can get the shirt from the Women Bloggers site at a discount; use code MARIBLOG for a 10% discount until Thanksgiving.


  1. Okay, I needed to read this. I beat myself up SO badly when I make dumb mistakes. Then I calm down and I beat myself up over how stupid I acted about my mistake.
    I can give others grace, by myself? I need to work on that.

  2. I really do have to laugh at how often God calls us out when we think we have got things all figured out. I had a dramatic calling out when I announced to a group I would never (all caps here) go to a country where my creature comforts would be compromised. Eight months later I was on the plane to Cuba...